sleepy glances and mumbled words
by ImGladYouFoundThatFunny
Summary: Beckett wakes up in the hospital during one of Castle's many visits, and they talk. Fluffy. One-shot.


When Beckett stirred from the heavy, drug-induced sleep, the first thing she took notice of was the dull throbbing in her chest. _Medicine must be wearing off,_ she thought to herself. She'd have to ask for more. She hated the hazy feeling that the morphine gave her, though- _maybe I can wait just a little longer._

As she grew slowly more conscious, she became of a warm hand encasing hers. But it wasn't the super soft, smooth doctor's hands she was used to. No, she doubted she would ever be feeling those again. This hand was bigger. Warmer. The palm was a little rougher-

"Castle?" she asked thickly, opening her eyes completely and turning her head to the right. Castle's hand was resting on his extended arm, his eyes closed. Beckett squeezed his hand as best as she could. "Castle."

His head shot up. "Kate- Kate, are you okay?" he asked, his eyes performing a quick check, his free hand raised to press the "call" button. "Do you hurt?"

"No, no, Castle, I'm fine," she said, squeezing his hand again, blinking her eyes and trying to shake the fog from her head.

After he checked her over once more, Castle brought his head back down to rest on his forearms, gazing at her sleepily, his thumb moving idly against the back of her hand. Having his hand there helped her to grasp reality a bit more- the first night she'd woken up with him by her bedside, her hand in his, she'd thought she was still asleep. Or maybe dead. But now, having him there helped her to remember that she was okay. She was alive.

"Castle. It's 2 am. How long have you been here?" she asked quietly, her voice still thick with sleep. "Wait- how did you get in? Visiting hours don't start until 8 am."

He smiled then. "Station nurse is a fan."

Beckett rolled her eyes. "This one, too?"

Castle had been visiting her every day, as well as most nights. It was almost as if he was afraid to let her out of his sight. He'd taken creative routes to get around the hospital's visiting hours regulations, telling each nurse a different story. Luckily for him, a few of the nurses recognized him. Although he didn't feel like charming anyone- he just wanted to see Kate- he'd been able to turn it on for long enough to sign an autograph and explain the situation, usually walking away to Kate's room while the nurse looked after him, hand over her heart, sighing about how nice it was for him to visit, how sad it was that Kate got shot, how they'd seen it on the news.

"Yeah, this one, too. She was tough, though- it took signing her entire collection of Derek Storm books-which, for some reason, she happened to have at her desk- before she would let me through."

Beckett began to laugh but quickly stopped, wincing. Now the pain was definitely more noticeable. Bringing her hand up to the stitches that kept the wound closed, Kate leaned her head back against her pillow, closing her eyes and inhaling deeply through her nose.

Castle's grip on her hand had tightened again, and he was once again poised to call for the nurse. Beckett reached out and waved her hand to stop him. "No, hold on. I'm okay."

"Kate-"

"No, please, Rick. I'm so sick of sleeping and being in this damn fog all of the time. I just want to be able to sit- and to talk to you- without feeling like I've got sand in my brain." When Castle still looked hesistant, she spoke again. "We'll call soon."

Castle conceded, bringing his hand away from the call button. "As soon as its gets any worse," he said gently.

"As soon as it gets any worse," she repeated. "Swear."

Taking in another breath, she looked at Castle, who still looked concerned. Scared, even. He'd had this look on his face since she got shot- his face was the last thing she saw before she lost consciousness- the last thing she remembered- and it was the first thing she remembered when she woke up a few days ago.

"You know, Castle. You don't have to stay here every night. I'm fine." His hand tightened around hers again, and that look flashed in his eyes again. She squeezed back. "Rick, I'm awake now. I'm recovering. I'm going to be fine. I'm sure you would be much more comfortable in your own bed."

"What and miss out on these astounding accommodations? You'd be surprised what sleeping at a ninety degree angle can do for a person."

Beckett smiled and rolled her eyes at him before attempting to sit up. Her ass was going numb from lying in the same position all afternoon. As soon as she moved her arms to lift herself up, though, she knew that it wasn't a good idea. In fact, it was a very, very bad one. Too much, too soon. Kate fell back onto the pillow, wincing. "Okay, Castle, we can press that button now," she said quickly, screwing her eyes shut and squeezing Castle's hand in an attempt to alleviate some of the pain she was feeling.

Within a minute of Castle pressing the button, there was a nurse at her bedside. In her peripheral vision, Beckett saw the nurse administer the morphine through her IV.

"Ms. Beckett, those should kick in soon. We talked about staying on top of your meds, remember?"

Kate nodded back at the nurse, her eyes still shut, he body tense with pain. "Sorry," she said as the nurse left the room.

"You've talked about this? Wait, you've done this before?" Castle asked.

"Castle, not now," Beckett grit out.

"Okay, okay," he said, seeing her struggling, her eyes wet, and not wanting to add to it. He reached up and brushed her hair back from her face. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry. It should be kicking in soon. I'm so sorry," he whispered, whispering things to her in order to keep her distracted, keep her calm.

A few moments later, Beckett finally let out the breath she had been holding in since the nurse came in. The morphine was finally taking control of the pain, and the throbbing in her chest was already dulling.

"Castle." Beckett said, turning her head back to look at him and forcing her eyes open. Her eyes were already starting to fall shut, as though the lids were too heavy to keep up. The morphine entering her bloodstream, paired with the motion of his hand against her hair was making her increasingly drowsy.

"Yeah, KB," he said softly. KB was a nickname he used endearingly, during rare moments of peace between them when they were in the field, or during one of the times when they were inches-centimeters, really- away from closing the distance and acknowledging what was between them.

"Thank you," she mumbled.

"For what?"

She wanted to tell him- for being here. For being _there_- in LA, at the hangar, at the cemetery. For sticking with her for the past three years, even when she pushed him away. For fighting for her mom with her. For telling her how he felt. For everything.

But the pain medicine was making her drowsy, and if she could only ever do one right thing in her life, she needed it to be this. She didn't want her admission- her thankfulness, her admiration, her love, to be lost in a slur of mumbled words. She would wait.

Instead, she squeezed his hand again, once more opening her eyes enough to look at him. She tried to tell him without words what she was thinking, tried to convey her thoughts in her eyes.

It took him a few moments, but Castle was quick, and he soon caught on to what she was trying to express. There was a new look in his eyes, now. Not just the fear of losing her, of what she now realized was also the fear of her rejecting his feelings. Now there was a hint of that glint in his eyes that she was used to- the glint that was part of the reason she fell in love with him. She smiled sleepily, untangling her hand from his to reach up and run her finger down the bridge of his nose. She'd been going for a hand on his cheek, but at this point she would take what she could get.

He smiled and stood, leaning over her to kiss her on the forehead.

"Always, KB," he said, his lips still on her skin. "I hope you never forget that."

He felt her hand find its way to his once more, and by the time he was back in his chair, Kate was fast asleep


End file.
